Why no reply? or, you're never too old for email anxiety

does silence mean my
advisor is busy, or
that she hates me now?

Who can take tomorrow, dip it in a dream? The minivan can.

If you fear to buy
one because it's "not cool," you've
lost your shot at "hip."

All I know is, my lumbar region has never been better

My chiropractor:
bone doctor, witch doctor, or
maybe just genius?

The first comment received on seventeen syllables

is it a nice note,
or sarcastic and cutting?
only x can tell....

Make a statue of that woman and paint it gold!

Hairdresser who knows
how to do a razor cut
and is not afraid

the peter principle

personality
disorders seem to inspire
promotions, sadly

I'm Netflix' "beeyatch" now

Blockbuster, you had
your chance with me years ago--
your late fees still blow.

Two and a half weeks 'til the semester ends--but who's counting?

documentary
videos: labor-saving,
educational!

Pucker up!

To the inventor(s)
of Preparation H: I
could kiss you, indeed.