American Idol's Simon Cowell has nothing on the academic conference/journal/grant/job rejection letter

Here are my all time favorite (by favorite, I mean the best examples of unintentionally insulting) rejection letters, content distilled into haiku form.

From a recent conference paper submission:

"Many grand ideas
were rejected, but yours was
not among that crowd."

or, from the American Studies Association two years ago:
"Seventy-five of
one hundred were accepted--
great odds--but not you."